pandemic

You wanted
to let the world know
that the world inflicted you
with negativities.

but,
unknown to you,
others contracted it.

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Infinity

It doesn’t make sense. 


Answers elude me in this aimless wandering.

The universe doesn’t ask limits.
It keeps spawning more stars and more space
Until humanity comes to pass
not knowing anything.

What a visage of mystery it displays.

Yeah, it all doesn’t make sense.
Stars cannot guide us after all.

 

(I do not own the photo)

Resurrection

All of us live in fear of dying.

When in fact,

in order to live a full life,

we need to die a great number of times.

We have to deaden many things

about ourselves.

There will come a time

when we must choose

to sacrifice

friendships,

relationships,

possessions,

because the longer we hold on to them,

the harder we cling to forever

in a world

that’s not meant to stay.

When you start

collecting

tiny bits of your life –

From different places,

Experiences and

Perspectives –

and piece them all together,

your life will be a complete puzzle.

You’ll thank yourself

for killing many things about you.

And you’ll be glad you lived again.

Fragility

My heart is not
broken –

it’s beating just fine
because I took care of myself.
Why would I expect people
to carry it
when it’s my possession?

Humans
have everyday baggage,
that’s why they are bound
to drop things.
Their hands are too small
to carry it all.
So if everything becomes too much
for you to carry,
you can drop your burdens,
but never your heart.
You cannot have people
hold it for you.

They’ll drop it.

And they’ll break it.

An Ode to Negativity

Ever since I was young, negativity has followed my like I thought the early morning moon followed me on my way to school. Maybe if I wrote a letter to it, it would be more lenient to me. Would it depart from me? How many goodbye letters am I supposed to write to send it off? I don’t know, but it’s worth trying.

Negativity makes you say to your teammates you won’t make it because you were faced in a similar situation in the past and lost.

Negativity makes you think late replies and “read” labels in messages give you a perpetual sense of being unwanted.

Negativity deprives you of your regular sleep hours and feeds you with embarrassing moments you did in the past. It fills you with the thought that they still remember it when in fact they don’t. Negativity also keeps you awake in the fear that what people say behind you will always be out to demolish the good character you’ve worked hard to build.

Negativity is when your boss tweaks your work a bit and now you question your own skills and abilities, thinking you are incompetent enough and can’t do better.

Negativity gives you gentle reminders that you can only be the second best in this world. And to achieve remains an idealism.

Negativity takes you to a world of daydreams where you can be the greatest you’ve ever wanted to be. It traps you there, whispering you can never be half as great in the world in which you exist (and don’t exist at the same time).

Negativity is doing something great and downplaying it with false humility, making you believe humans are the only source of validity to your existence.

Negativity includes ‘achieve greater heights, so you can finally say to the world that you somehow exist’ in your to-do list and strikes it out immediately when you fail.

Negativity brings you to a spiral of eternal loneliness. It cages you in the belief that people like everyone else…except you.

Negativity thinks you always botch things up, and every mistake you do is grave and irreversible.

Negativity murders the best character you could be. It kills the great person you’re supposed to become.

Negativity thinks you aren’t anyone really special as you’d like to believe, in fact your body is abnormally slender. And you suck because of that.

For all these times, negativity has been with me – no, within me. It has somehow become a friend I talk to in my room on a Friday night. Did I just say a friend? Sorry, I meant to say a fiend.

And right now it makes me think it’s impossible to vanquish it and set myself free.